When I Grow Up

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I need this some day.

Who? Where? When?

I want to just yell. scream until I lose my voice. God, please give me a sign of some sort. What is my problem? I'm not doing anything right!! You introduce me to all these people and I just want to meet him already. I want to feel what it's like to be kissed. I want to be hugged all the time and get into stupid little arguments over nothing. I want to have that feeling of being "in love." Who is this guy you have for me? Is he here? Will I meet him in college? when? When? WHEN.... will I ever meet this man? God, I tell you, I can't wait for the day. I love him so much already and I don't even know him.

Audrey Hepburn

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

The Best Conversation

Last Time. This Time.

In about two weeks I will be making my way to the best camp on earth. CAMP CRESTRIDGE. Last time, we started talking (after being upset with each other for so long) the day I left. It took him a while to talk to me again cause we actually dated that summer for approximately 5 hours... and just like this time, I ruined that. I think one of the many reasons I miss him most is because he knows so much about me and i'm not just talking about my favorite color or my worst tickle spots... He knows my darkest secrets, my fears, and my weaknesses. He knows my flaws yet, accepts them. He didn't care about my scars or when I was completely stupid. I didn't have to lie to him because I knew he could handle the truth. He was the ultimate jokester and all our conversations made me laugh. I remember this one night we were on the phone and I was so uncomfortable with this situation I was in and we were joking one second and then all of a sudden he became so serious and said "hey.. are you okay?" it sounds so dumb but it's what I loved. The simple stuff. I loved how he understood what I was going through. I told him all my problems cause he's been through it. He knows pain, he knows anger, he knows the difference between real and fake, but most of all, He knew me. He knew i hated being told 'I love you' too early and how i wanted my first kiss to be "special." what the hell is a "special" kiss anyways?? shouldn't all first kisses be special? I'm such a jerk. If I do get the chance to be his again, I'll remind myself of all the times I cried myself to sleep because I broke up with a guy like him. I'll read every blog entry and journal I wrote about him. I'll keep note of every conversation we had that made me smile.. I'll remind myself of the moments we spent together because those are the moments that are most precious. I'll remind myself of what I missed most while being apart so I don't have to experience the feeling of not being able to have it again. He was the best to me, I think he only deserves even better in return. [MLL]

Make A Wish

Everyday, I experience the joy of making a wish at 11:11, but not purposefully. I coincidentally pick up my phone either a minute before or right one the dot. Weird huh?... I thought so. Well, for the past month I've been making the same wish over and over again, just praying that it would come true. Well guess what?!.. it happened. :) I guess I really did need to be patient cause now it's not as awkward and we can just text. When we run out of things to say... the conversation ends. easy. It's not always great but man, I am so much happier. He's the best. And the best part of all? Well, he cares. If he didn't care, he wouldn't have texted me first.

See You When We See You

My dad just left to go back home. While he was here we did A LOT. haha. I cut his hair.. Jokingly, right before my sister's graduation....oops. We also Omegled a lot of random people and haha, met an australian dude who taught us how to say "WATA!" instead of Water. We baked cookies (wayyy too many), and watched National Treasure at least 5 times. I can't believe he's already gone, but i'll see him again; He's the best truck driver in the nation and well, i guess, England needs him. This entry is for you, Dad. I love you BUNCHES! 
Much love,
Em. <3